Sharp Wit!

As a so-called native speaker, I have a big advantage over my students...or so I think ;-) I can think very quickly & have a wit (humour) to go with it. I love playing with words, making fun with (not of, I hope! :-)) the students, and generally making people laugh. Yes, a teacher is some form of entertainer, I believe.
But sometimes, I am really surprised by the lightning wit of some of my students...When people begin to play with the language humorously & are even a little satirical, it's great! It shows a real feel for the language.

Here are 2 recent incidents:

One girl was talking about the Czech Education system, as reflected by SGO...she said, "Our school is prestigious, but I don't believe it. How can I when in one of our classrooms, we are trying to look at a film on the screen, and we have no blinds on our 'prestigious' windows, and we have to cover them with cardboard!?" (This comment inspired me to begin to create a song "We are Prestigious" - to the theme of "We are the Champions" ("no time for Hejcin, 'cos we are prestigious..." :-)) A very sarcastic touch. However, I did remind the student that I'm sure that SGO provides only prestigious cardboard!!

In another lesson, we were discussing the theme of culture. One girl said she'd been to France & had seen an exhibition about the 2nd World War. I asked her what they'd had on display, as the French did not have a reputation of being brave fighters during the war...one girl quickly jumped in with "Perhaps they were displaying their collection of white flags?" To which I laughed & gave a high five...I wish I'd said that!! :-)

Laughter is good...and necessary :-)

Discouragements...and encouragements ;-)

It's not often that I get discouraged in my job...but once in a while, something happens - but I guess it's more to do with a sense of disappointment. Perhaps sometimes I expect more from my students than I should? But today was a little bit like that...

It's not often that I give out '5s'...a rare occasion...but today I actually had to give 5 (FIVE!) 5's!! Yes, I was the one 'throwing them out like confetti at a wedding' (a description that I usually reserve for some other teachers who have a reputation of being more harsh than myself)! To be fair - four of them were for late homework - although it was more to do with broken promises. One of my bad habits is to take people at their word - it's called trust ;-) Of course, at times I can be gracious, and have been - but today I guess I reached a certain limit. The other one was for a lack of effort in a talk - which is an understatement, I think
:-)

I sometimes get discouraged when I hear about other teachers' 'methods' of teaching...I'm the first to agree that a general reformation is needed with the Czech Education system - we all need to be playing on the same pitch, as it were. But clearly, we are not.

I get discouraged when I hear about teachers bullying & shouting & being generally sarcastic and mean...I know that at times I walk a fine line with my humour...but I do try to keep a good measure of respect in it. Do teachers really need to shout to make a point? Even scream??!! :-o

But I have to say, that on the whole, the encouragements of my work far outweigh the negative stuff! I was encouraged in the creativity & thoughtfulness of some students in their presentations today. And yesterday, a student who has been struggling started to show some genuine progress - now that is what it's all about! Even that incident itself brings me great joy & hope.

This is always a difficult time in the school year - the long dark days, the lack of sunshine, seemingly endless & dull hours sat on one's backside, while their brains are feeling like they're being sucked out of their noses by some teachers. Yes, I think this is the dark before the dawn, especially for those doing Maturita. My advice for all students? Stick at it. It will pass. It always comes to pass. And remember....your teachers are humans too, and have feelings...

Relationships

According to the 'wisdom' that is Facebook - at this moment in time, there are 9 possible relationships that a person can be involved in. They are as follows:

1. Single - which translated possibly means 'not in a relationship with anyone' and either a) happy with that - or b) would like that to change
2. In a Relationship - which I guess means - 'I'm not available for any relationship - hands off!'
3. Engaged - this is a very serious form of relationship...one step from marriage!
4. Married - finally, all those 'relationship statuses' can be forgotten about - you are 'home' :-)
5. It's Complicated - which in itself, could be a rather complicated statement...it could mean 'I'm seeing someone who is already in a relationship, but can't say who because FB will tell everyone!' - or, 'I'm interested in someone, but they can't stand the sight of me...' - or perhaps other such 'complicated things'...
6. It's an open relationship - I think this is a recent addition to FB statuses (but I might be wrong) - and I can only imagine it means 'my partner & I are free to see other people and are 'cool' about it...' I imagine it's the opposite to a 'closed' relationship ;-)
7. Widowed - perhaps one of the saddest statuses you could ever hope to see... :-(
8. Separated - usually applying to people who got married & are now having problems living with each other, and are happy for other people to know about it...
9. Divorced - the dream of marriage ended...sadly... :-(

However, as I reflect on the use of language & how people go to great pains to express themselves to everyone these days, especially on the internet, I realised that FB has not used up all of the possible relationship statuses...yet! :-) Here are my 'predictions' for some forth-coming updates:

1) Being stalked - you're almost certain that someone is following you, perhaps physically, and certainly on FB...but of course, you could be paranoid...
2) Stalker - you're very interested in someone...and they don't know it...but having this on your FB status might freak some people out, and that's 'cool' with you...
3) Dead - not physically (perhaps?), but you think the relationship is going nowhere & you want to give your partner a clue...
4) 'It's quite alright, and thank you for asking' - a sort of 'Pride & Prejudice' response, with a dash of British humour... ;-)
5) It's weird - things are NOT going as you thought they should, and some disturbing things have happened to change your opinion about your partner!
6) Terrific - I'm very happy & want the whole world to know it! :-)
7) Lovesick - this would be a popular one in Spring...you really, really like someone, but just don't have the guts to tell them...
8) One night stand - it was a party...and you don't remember a lot, and hey, this status would only last for one day...

Makes you think, doesn't it? ;-)
As someone who is very happily married - and I was single for a long time, and had my fair share of 'complicated, confusing, messy' relationships in my past... - I have to say that a real relationship (which is ultimately expressed in marriage) means sticking together through all of those 'status-like-situations' and coming through and finding diamonds in the coal, and roses growing in the manure...
Over to you, Phil....

Phil Collins - Doesn't anybody stay together anymore?

Interesting uses of English...

Marking some papers today, I came across a couple of gems - one unintentional, and one very witty use of English!
In the first one, the student was describing the fact that her grandfather had had 'an alarm clock' (budík) fitted in his heart :-) An amusing image, especially after the recent story of a girl swallowing an alarm clock! I quickly realised that it was a 'pacemaker'!
The second one was describing her grandmother - and after painting a general picture of her looks, she said 'and she has the consistency of a marshmallow' - which made me chuckle...and I commend such a clever & funny use of the language.

And it also reminds me...last week, in another essay, a student was describing her journey with English - to end the essay, she gave a description of how English works in her mind, which I felt was both amusing & creative...here is an extract: "There is a huge hall with lots of doors. Some are easy to open, some are locked. For example, the door of Maths. When you open the door of Maths, there is a big nice and colourful room, because I love Maths. Also the room of French, it is a huge room where everything is clean and orderly. And somewhere at the end of the hall, there is an old wooden door of English. I cannot always find the key to this room, so it takes me about five minutes to start to speak English. When you look in this room, there is a lot of dust everywhere and the things are very messily assembled. Now, I have to clean this room. It will be hard and it will take lots of time but I hope that one day, the room of English will be as nice as the room of Maths or French."

I wonder how many of my other students can relate to this!? ;-)

I love my job! :-)

This has been a busy week, but ultimately, a rewarding week. It's an unusual year in the sense of the teaching load that I have - I have to work it out, but I'm sure that I teach around 250-280 students (at least), mainly due to having 15 seminars (14 of whom I see every fortnight). That, combined with 3 younger classes in Pasteurova, offers me a lot of variety, and I therefore meet students of varying levels of English. Of course, in all of the classes the standards are split into higher and lower making it 'easier' to use the material I work with, but there are always challenges - how to keep the stronger students engaged & motivated (and not dozing off to sleep!), and how to inspire and encourage the ones for whom English doesn't come so naturally...or those who have chosen it as the 'easier option', because they can't hack Maths or Physics (for example)...

On top of that, I also run the English Club...well, I say, 'I' run it...but the truth is that lately, I'm learning & trying to let the students run it more...and it seems to be working ;-) This week we began to look at Motivation - and I have to say that it's an excellent choice for a topic! I did a short presentation on the topic, looking at different types of motivation...showed a short video clip...then got 4 'guinea pigs' to volunteer for an 'experiment'...all of which is improvised! They spoke about what they needed motivation with...and then I asked everyone else to get alongside them & to begin to find out more about the person, and what type of motivation might work for them...the homework being, that next week, they have to come back & propose something concrete for their 'client' - very much an interactive topic, not just theory. 

After the English Club, my wife & I went to listen to an ex-student, Klara Hekelova and her friend, Franta, speak about their 2 months of mission work in Brazil - and a fascinating experience it was too - another side of life altogether.

Oh yes, and just before the English Club, I finally had to confront my colleagues in the kabinet & inform them that they have been saying 'comfortable & vegetable' wrong for all these years...and they took it well :-)!! 

The point to these 'ramblings' is... I LOVE MY JOB! :-) Hard to believe that at 53 years of age, and with all the different jobs that I have done in the past, THIS is the BEST! And a LOT of credit has to go to the students...because without their support & love of English...well...it would be a lot harder ;-)

Hard to swallow...

This week, a student told me an unusual story... When she was a little girl, she was lying in her bed & was playing with a small alarm clock which was next to her bed...as small children do. Whilst in the act of just waving it around in the air randomly, it slipped from her grasp & fell into her mouth...and she swallowed it! :-o
She went to tell her parents, who of course, got into a bit of a panic, and they rushed her up to the hospital Accidents & Emergency Ward! Thankfully, they were able to pull it out without any problems.
(I found the scene very amusing...if such a thing happened these days, I'm sure there would be a big panic by everyone else if ringing alarm came from inside a small child! People would be leaping everywhere thinking that an explosion was about to happen!)
It reminded me of another story told by a student about 3-4 years ago. This young man had swallowed a small spoon. I expected that he'd have to have an operation...but he didn't...he had to pass the spoon the 'natural way'! :-) (Which sounds anything BUT natural!) I told this story to the girl & remarked that it was a good job he hadn't swallowed a fork, which could have been more painful... She said that while she was in the hospital the nurse had shown her some x-rays of objects that previous patients had put into their throat/stomach...and indeed, there WAS a fork!! :-o

OK, over to you...what objects have YOU swallowed?? I don't recall anything myself, but I do recall my sister disposing of a marble..or two... ;-)

The next generation...

One of the joys for me in teaching at SGO is that of meeting the siblings of previous students whom I have taught...sometimes, I can teach up to 3 siblings from one family in a year - if 'suplovani' (deputising) allows, as in the case of the Kourilovi family last year! (Stepan for Maturita, Klara in the English Club, and Adam in suplovani...not forgetting that I taught their elder sister, Tereza, a couple of years ago too!! :-) Even this year,   it continues...

But it was a very pleasant surprise to meet Adam Kluka today & to discover that his brother is Alexander (Sasha) Christomidis, who I taught in my raw first year at SGO, way back in 2005! I recalled one seminar when we had some fun with some wigs...

We had a little 'peace & love' moment as we were looking a bit 'hippy-ish' :-)

And many people thought that I looked a little like Mrs Pavelkova here...and I didn't know her at that time!

Yes, the good thing about meeting the next generation is that they are also interesting young people in their own right...and for that, I'm glad. But, it also does bring back memories of some truly spontaneous moments...

Creating new words

We were examining a student the other day, and during the course of the exam I was sure that, even though he meant to say 'agricultural', he said 'uglycultural'!! Perhaps it was just my hearing, as neither of the other teachers seemed to have picked it up...but having read '1984' by George Orwell recently, and learning about 'Newspeak' - the word suddenly seemed to make sense :-)

I'm sure that there are a lot of things that we would consider to be 'uglicultural' :-) Certain music, art, films, buildings, behaviour...

OK, so I'm claiming this word.
Just like I did with 'flakating'!! :-)

Another year is beginning...something to look forward to :-)

And so my 7th year at SGO is at hand. To be honest, this week back before the students return is a bit 'dull' - just doing some preparation, poradas, and for a change, lots of cleaning due to the tremendous mess which the builders & decorators have been making in our absence! :-o Dust everywhere...classrooms full of stuff which doesn't belong there...but gradually, it's all coming together - and next Monday...? Well, we'll see :-)

As for me, I really can't wait to begin teaching again. As I look back to my rough & ready beginnings, I can see that I've come a long way, and have hopefully learnt something about communicating English to lots of young people who are generally enthusiastic about getting the chance to 'chew the fat' with a native speaker. Not sure that I like the title of 'native speaker'...always makes me feel like I should come dressed as a Zulu Warrior! :-) (now THAT could be fun!)

Each year, I always try to improve on what's gone before, and this year will be no exception. In fact, I have a feeling that this year is going to be a special one - and that is no disrespect to previous years - I have enjoyed all of them! But this year...well, it's just a 'feeling', perhaps - but we will see.

I only hope that by the end of it, all of the students will have increased in their love, appreciation, & skill for the English language - whatever level they are at when I meet them from next week on. That is always my goal. And I also know that I need their help to do it :-) What they learn at SGO is just never enough - it's what happens in the big wide world outside that counts. I'm hoping that some students will dream in English (as opposed to nightmares involving certain teachers & grammar tests!).

One of the joys of teaching is when students make progress...and realise it themselves...and say 'thank you'. Some say it with words, some with chocolate, and some in writing. This is one of my treasures:

This was given to me by Viki, a Thai student from 2-3 yrs ago who was with us with Tawan. I have it pinned up in my office on my noticeboard. If ever I needed motivation to teach & encourage, then this is it. But I also take this opportunity to say 'thank you' to ALL those who have expressed their appreciation for my efforts in helping them with their English. It really does mean a lot to me :-)

So...bring on the new school year. I'm ready.

What's in a name? :-)

The beginning of the new school year is close at hand - and for myself, it will be a very different year. This will be the first year that I won't work specifically with each Maturita class - I will only have contact with students in the seminars. The fact is that every student has to do a language in the State Exam this year (so I'm led to believe), and therefore the interest in English seminars in much higher...and so most of my lessons this year will be seminars. In fact, I will be working with 15 groups altogether...and one lucky/unlucky group will get me all to themselves! :-) 

And so, something different will happen this year - I will be giving names to the Seminar Groups, which will hopefully be chosen by the students in that group. I find that it helps to give an identity to the group, and it's also fun...and it's much better to refer to a group with a name, rather than 1Aj1 Konv, or 5Aj1 Konv...(boring!!) 

It also reminded me of some of the names of past years...so, in case you were wondering...here is the complete list of ALL classes from when I began...I wonder which class (in your opinion) had the best name...and I wonder what names will appear this year? ;-)

(*NOTE! Updated to include the classes of 2012-13)

CLASS NAMES AT S.G.O. 2006-2013

2006-07:

4A - DEEP SILENCE

4B - NO NAME

4B - THE BEST LOSERS

4C - I DON'T UNDERSTAND

4C - ROYAL ZOO

8E - MASTERS OF ENGLISH

6AF (Conv) - CHIQUITAS

2007-08:

4A - SEA RATS

4A - SILVER SQUIRRELS

4B - THE PIRATES

4B - PUSSYCATS AND TWO DOGS

4C - SPIDER PIGS

4C - THE SURVIVORS

4D - HAPPY HIPPY HIPPOES

4D - LAZY WOMBATS

6AF - CONKER QUEENS

8E - FRIENDS OF MR. BUKVA

8E - THE FARMER'S HEDGEHOGS

8F - THE LADIES

8F - THE SLACKERS

2008-09:

4A - CINDERELLA, MICKEY MOUSE, AND THE REST OF DISNEYLAND

4A - SIMPLY GIRLS

4B - PUNK KINGS AND QUEENS

4B - THE NAVAHOS

4C - EVERILL'S ANGELS

4C - YELLOW DAFFODILS

4D - THE FRI-DERS

4D - THE SLEEPERS

6AF - BRITNEY'S FANS

8A8 - COMBINE HARVESTERS

8A8 - FRIENDS OF ASTON VILLA

8B8 - LOLLIPOPS

8B8 - PINK PANTHERS

2009-10:

4A - SHOUTING MUTES

4B - LOVE DOVES

4B - FURIOUS CUCKOOS

4D - DANUSE'S FINEST

6AF - POWER RANGERS

8A8 - THE CAPTAIN'S ARMY

8A8 - THE SLEEPING STONES

8B8 - SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS

8B8 - EVERILL LOVIN'

2010-11:

4A - THE LAZY FLIES

4A - TOTAL DIFFERENCE

4B - PIRATES OF SPRINGFIELD

4B - DREAM TEAM

6AF - ROGUE SQUADRON

8A8 - HOLY ALCOHOLICS

8A8 - BROTHERHOOD OF CAPTAIN EVERILL

8B8 - THE SITTING STUDENTS

8B8 - THE CHOSEN ONES

4A8 - AWESOME GUYS

4A8 - COOL (WO) MEN

4B8 - SIXTEEN JAILMEN (previously FAT RATS)

4B8 - BRAVE AVATARS

2011-12:

4A /B - RIDERS ON THE STORM

4A /B - ANGRY DUMPLINGS

4A/B - MR E's ARMY

4A/B - CLEVER SARDINES

6AF - INCREDIBLE JETS

8A8 - THE DIRTY DANCERS

8A8 - ERROR IN THE MATRIX

8B8 - SG-1

8B8 - MARY'S STRAWBERRIES

4A8 - LITTLE CATS

4A8 - BLACK MAMBAS

4B8 - HAPPY MARSHMALLOWS

4B8 - HUNGRY ZOMBIES

2012-13:
1Aj1 - MY FLUFFY LITTLE PINK PONIES
1Aj2 - AQUILA TEAM
2Aj1 - TOTAL ENTHUSIASTS
2Aj2 - FUNKY TURTLES
3Aj1 - MR E CHICKENS
3Aj2 - EVA'S MONKEYS
4Aj1 - WAR PIGS
4 1Aj1 - REDS UNDER THE BED
4 1Aj2 - JUSTIN BIEBER FAN CLUB
4 2Aj1 - YELLOW SNOW EATERS
4 2Aj2 - NEVER-ENDLESS PARTY
4 3Aj1 - BLUE SMURFS
4 3Aj2 - THE PRETTY GUNNERS
5Aj1 - ALCOHOLIC SHARKS
5Aj2 - HARD CONKERS
4AF Aj1 - THE GODS
4AF Aj2 - THE PINK CATS
4A8 Aj1 - HOPELESS HELLO KITTIES
4A8 Aj2 - KILLER BEES
4B8 Aj1 - HEEBIE JEEBIE CUCUMBERS
4B8 Aj2 - BIG PINK PIGS 

The summer is over...

Eight weeks of holidays have finally come to an end. I know there are some teachers (who will remain nameless) who wish that the holidays could just roll on forever - but me? No...I've enjoyed my holidays, but the fact is that I really do enjoy my work. Even though I am not a qualified/traditional teacher as such, I love this work that I have somehow fallen into. My first week back is full of cleaning (due to the reconstruction work of the new building) & 'poradas'...but next week, the real work (& fun) of teaching begin...and to be honest, I can't wait!

But before I anticipate the coming new school year (in another post), I want to reflect on what I did during my holidays. It's only fair, as I sometimes ask this of my students ;-) So, here goes...

My holidays actually began with a minor car accident! My fault...I was reversing on the very tight car park near the Police building by Vejdovskeho tram-stop...and caught the bumper of a car (which we found out belonged to a woman who works on the serious traffic problems division!! It was all resolved relatively peacefully...but what a way to begin! :-(

I did some bike rides - although I did have one incident where my chain broke & I had to freewheel & walk home. My longest trip proved to be around 54 kms (my record is 95). I also did lots of walks (one of my favourite walks is in Strazisko...& I discovered another one from Potstat, which was very beautiful!), bird-watching, photographing...one the whole, the summer weather was excellent, and I like the odd thunderstorm too!

I saw a couple of ex-students, which is always fun - catching up, playing chess, having a beer & a pizza :-) Meeting the family! Cool!

I also had chance to watch a few films:

• Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - odd, but interesting...
• V for Vendetta - a bit brutal at times, but remembering the British riots of last year, I found some of it very provoking...
• Stand & Deliver - TV movie about a maths teacher & underprivileged students....inspirational & challenging!
• Dr Strangelove - amusing...but perhaps a bit dated now
• Amistad - good film, but could have been better, perhaps...
• The Way - good film about the Santiago De Compostella Walk in France/Spain...a pilgrimage... 
• Ryan's Daughter - romantic melodrama from the 70's - wonderful Irish scenery, strong story...well acted.
• Rango - Western animation - fun :-)
• And I finally watched ALL of the Batman series (Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, The Dark Knight Rises) - I like action films, so I wasn't disappointed...well made & gripping films.
• The Grey - adventure story...but is it 'real' or just an analogy...thought-provoking about the theme of 'death & loss'...
• Treasure of the Sierra Madre - classic Humphrey Bogart film of man's greed & lust for gold...really well acted!

We also enjoyed about 12 days in England (before the Olympics) & visited Cornwall (as has been blogged here already). There was a family reunion at the cottage in Vysocina to celebrate Maminka's 70th birthday (which is in Sept) - and later we also went to the cottage & I spent 3 days chopping wood!! I calculated that I chopped over 220 pieces of wood of various sizes...needless to say, I was shattered at the end of it! 

We also went to a wedding of a Ugandan friend who married the daughter of our Czech pastor! A great experience, and Petra translated there! :-) The venue at Vletice was outstanding!

And finally, during this last week, we went to the High Tatras in Slovakia - compared to last year (which was a total washout!), this year was truly awesome - great weather, wonderful scenery, and some little drama...but what a way to end the holidays!! 

So...as I go back to work, I am a very satisfied man...bring on the new school year! :-)

Farmhouse Cream Tea...

On the way back from a lovely day out at Lizard Point & Kynance Cove, we fancied a typical English Cream Tea - fresh homemade scones, jam, and lashings of thick clotted cream! I remembered on the way in seeing a sign for such a place (the kind of things I do remember!), and so at the turning for Sue's Farmhouse Cream Teas we turned off...
Once more, we seemed to be heading down a road which had some potholes, though which was better then the B&B one! It threatened to go on forever, but eventually we came to a halt at a farm. There was a farmhouse with tables & chairs leaning on them - the weather had been a bit 'iffy'...and there was a small hut with some people sitting there, so we figured it was open for business. However, as we exited the car we discovered just how fresh this farmhouse cream tea was! It stank, as you would expect the cattle-shed (right next door) to stink! :-o The air was thicker than the promised clotted cream.
But our appetites got the better of our noses and so we went into the hut. We joined another couple (from Portsmouth) who were finishing off their tea, and we met Sue, a lovely friendly lady!
We made a lot of jokes which she took in good fun...for example, we wondered if we had to milk the cows (clearly visible over the fence) ourselves! Was is the coffee that was smelling a bit strong?!
But - this WAS worth it :-)
http://www.canucking.ca/2010/08/sues-cream-teas-eglos-farm-cornwall.html
And don't just take my word for it!

The never-ending road...

On our recent trip to Cornwall with my mother & her husband, we decided to find some B&B 'on-spec' - as part of the adventure. Having found a way to avoid the flooded roads around Dorchester (the weather has, apparently, been SO bad in England this summer) we had finally made our way into Cornish road space. Just outside of Truro I spotted a sign - 'Farmhouse B&B'. Sounds romantic, eh? So at the next left turn we headed off onto some pot-holed track - nowhere near the description of road! It was thickly wooded, so there wasn't a lot of light...and the road went on...and on...soon we passed signs such as 'keep going', then a bit further 'not far to go now'...then 'almost there', and as we rounded some hairpins (fearful of what might be coming the other way!) 'it'll be worth it!' By then, my passengers were already stressed about the suspension of the hire-car...and the farmhouse was finally in sight. But we made the decision to turn back - the idea of doing this trip up & down for the next 3-4 days was a bit unnerving, no matter how good the accommodation was!
Looking on the internet, I have discovered that this is the place:
http://www.tregoninny.com/contact.htm

Looks lovely, doesn't it? But I love the directions: "At the bottom of the hill the road bends quite sharply round to the left and our entrance is on the left hand side - an unmade track with a large white sign. Follow the track and you will find us at the top..." :-) 

And the plot thickens...http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g776267-d1045353-Reviews-Tregoninny_Farm_and_Woodland-Tresillian_Cornwall_England.html

Seems like the owners sadly went through a divorce - the ratings used to be good, then over the last couple of years they have dropped...

Guess it's good that we didn't go all the way! :-) It wasn't worth it...

Maturita mistakes...and other stories ;-)

Well, it's that time of the year - the exams are over, most of the students have been successful - apparently only 6 students failed from 4AB,8AB & 6AF - which is a big improvement on the 11 last year! As well as making notes to mark the students, I also collect ideas on how to help the students more...what are the regular problems which keep cropping up...and also some of the more memorable moments :-) Hope you enjoy the read!!

•   Tom was talking about corruption in football as a referee – he was once approached by someone with a bribe - he told them to pay the other team as he didn't accept bribes! ;-)
• One student commented that the Statue of liberty has a 'fire in her hand'!! (if it helps you now, the word is 'TORCH'!)
• Another student didn't seem to understand what 'hitch-hiking' meant as he went on to say that 'my family and grand-parents used to do it together'! (we guessed he meant hiking!)
• Pronunciation is always important, but even as a native speaker, I can learn something amusing – for example, one student, talking about travel, said 'cycle paths' – but to me it did sound like 'psychopaths'! :-)
• When asked 'what are the opposite to serious newspapers', one girl said 'not so serious' ;-)
• The same student also said that there was 'no difference in the news between CT1 and Nova!' - which I find very hard to believe...
• A number of students still like to go 'skying' – maybe one day they will go 'skiing' too...
• Sometimes a student is lucky to pick a relevant topic - Eva G had 'English and American Literature' – and she had the peace symbol (connected with Allen Ginsberg) on her ring...and it was on the US Literature Map too! How cool is that?!
  
  
  
• Another student was asked about CR – 'what is grown in the area of Mikulov?' - 'Vegetables,' she said. Yeah – gimme some of that carrot wine! :-)
• The same girl also looked at some pictures of famous Czechs and said that Masaryk was Smetana! :-o (Even I know what Masaryk looks like!)
• We were informed by one girl that lacrosse was the British National Sport!
• One young man said that terrorists 'hitch-hiked a plane and flew it into the Twin Towers' – to which Mrs Bicova said, 'and were they standing on the cloud at the time?' (I'm sure he meant hijacked...)
• The same guy, when asked about a historical date said 'I don't know.' Mrs Castulikova tried to give him a clue and said '17...?' to which he replied 'I really don't know!' - and with great emphasis!
• Sometimes students get their much rehearsed and memorised information mixed up – 'in autumn, nature springs to life...'
• And often the right word just eludes them – in talking about the Environment, one girl said 'the facilities are going into the air...!' - she meant to say 'the fossil fuels are going into the atmosphere...'
• One girl said that 'one lesson (at SGO) lasts a quarter of an hour...' - she wishes!! :-)
• Those tricky grammar questions can sound amusing...if the student gets it wrong! – 'it's dark, I will switch off the light...'
• When asked 'what is the best thing about being a teenager', a young man replied 'That I don't care about anything!'
• One of the more common mistakes - 'I travel to school on foot...' - are those feet motorised??
• The wrong word again! One girl was describing a picture connected with health – looking at a picture she said 'it looks serious, there is a cemetary.' Mrs Agnew replied, 'It's an ambulance!' 
• When asked what character he would like to be in history, a young man replied, 'I want to be a prince and have an adventure with a dragon and a princess...but I don't know which would be the biggest adventure!'
• Many students change history and geography during their English exams: 'Missisppi is 4 kilometres long...' 
• And some manage to keep it at a basic level...'In Florida there is alligator – it is a very big animal...'
• We were also told by one girl that 'horses are used as a form of communication...' (she meant transport, of course...but perhaps horses do speak??)
• Even though I warn students...there is always one! – 'Are you chewing gum?' - There is a quick swallowing motion...'No!' ;-)
• Some basic knowledge is required – 'There are taxis in London.' 'What colour?' 'Yellow...' :-O
• And often I can learn a new phrase in English, which is borrowed from Czech culture & traditions – referring to May 1^st holiday a young girl said, 'I have been under the tree this year...'
• Some students insist on telling us - 'I am boring...' (and we might get bored of listening to it!) 
• And some students can be very confident – on coming to the end of her exams she was asked - 'What will the weather be like tomorrow?' 'It will be nice, I will have passed Maturita!'
• Literature is sometimes rewritten too – about Oscar Wilde it was said by one young man that 'His most famous work is 'My Fair Lady'...and another of his plays is 'The Little Prince'...'

A symbolic gift

At the end of the school year, when the exams are finished, the (mainly) successful class will organise a 'večírek' - which is basically a farewell party to which teachers who taught the class are invited...though it is also an opportunity for the students to de-stress :-) Food and drink are usually provided - and it is also a chance for students and teachers to meet outside of the usual arena of the classroom. And sometimes gifts are given - certainly to the class teacher who has walked with the students through their years of ups and downs...and sometimes for other teachers...

Last Friday (1st June), I attended the party of 4A - a great class who I had a lot of fun with. I was very surprised when one student (Petr) came over to give me a plastic bag, containing a surprise...and what a surprise! I opened the bag and found a Sparta Prague football shirt...and as I unfolded it, the name of 'Poborsky' was revealed...and the number '8'. At first glance, this seems an odd gift for a loyal Aston Villa fan. But in an instant, I realised why he (and his brother, whom I had taught in my first year, 6 years ago!) had bought me this particular gift...he remembered 'the story'! :-)

When students first get to meet me, I offer them to ask me any questions...and of course, one of the regularly asked questions is 'Why/when did I come to Czech Republic?' And the story begins in the summer of 1996, the European International Championships. The Czech Republic were playing Portugal in the quarter-finals at Villa Park - and my friends and I had tickets in the Holt End (Villa's end)....where the Czech fans were! This was perhaps the first time that I had met Czechs (to my knowledge)! And it was a lovely chipped goal from Karel Poborsky that put them into the semi-finals! You can see it here (it's the 3rd goal):

It was great to celebrate with the Czechs, and perhaps we did learn to say 'Češi do toho!' (the equivalent of 'Come on you Czechs!')...and little was I to know that just a few months later I would be travelling overland with 4 friends to the Czech Republic...and would meet the beautiful woman who became my wife...and would end up being an English teacher at a prestigious Grammar School in Olomouc! Wow....!

So, in many ways, Petr's gift is a very precious gift to me. It is symbolic - a marker of where I came from...and to where I am now :-) And I am a very happy man. Thank you, Petr. Thank you, God!

The end of another era...

And so the Last Bells have rung for the final time...for 4AB - The Riders On The Storm, The Angry Dumplings, Mr E's Army, and the Clever Sardines...for 8A - The Dirty Dancers, and Error In The Matrix...for 8B - SG-1, and Mary's Strawberries...and for 6AF - The Incredible Jets.
No more lessons. No more class dynamics (of which there were a few!). Certain characters I will teach no more...some, hopefully many, I hope to keep in touch with.
It is a strange feeling for me, personally. I usually only get to know some students for about 2 years maximum, although the introduction of the English Club allows that time to increase a little. But one or two years here at SGO goes very quickly, and before I know it, I'm working with a whole new set of classes.
I guess over the years I must have met easily over a 1,000 students by now, if not well on for 1,500! And there are many who leave their mark on me, for different reasons...
But just to name a few:
Martin Krobot - the English Machine!
Radovan Krejcir - famous for 'What was the question?' :-)
Tomas Zdrazil - who wrote me an amazing poem ;-)
Pavel Lexmaul - who seemed to have the concentration span of a fish at times...and yet is a very talented pianist...
Lada Smejkalova - whose English has improved a lot in the time I have known her, and who I think can become a very good writer...
Petr Gavlik - who also wrote me a great poem! ;-)
Eva Zdrahalova - there are MANY smiling students, but Eva has a sunshine smile! :D
Honza Smejkal - I shall never forget his part in Whose Line Is It Anyway? I think he had lost the plot, let alone his line! :-)
Lucie Bednarova & Hana Cukrova - for the feedback from the Wednesday Lunchtime Conversation theme!
David Novak - and his love for penguins ;-)
Honza Polach - another English Machine - an awesome performance in the ELSA exams, which meant a lot to us as teachers as we had to fight to get it (with a management which is heavily influenced by Maths & Science). Pity he supports such a lousy football club!
Anna Proskova - 2nd only to Honza in ELSA - but a top student & Regent in ISLI :-)
Kuba Zezula - for chuntering away with Honza P in the seminars...a right pair of 'gas bags'! :-)
Vit Zdenek - for his sharp wit, blunt tongue...and his line "Why not?" (he has the copyright for this!)
Karolina Ailova - because I rarely saw her! With an attendance record of 10/26, she is 2nd only to the legendary Martin Lehecka (4D).
Dave Do Anh Duc - because of his respect, enthusiasm, fun & love of life...and because as a foreigner here in CR, we have something in common ;-)
Martin Lach - the Human Labrador - he has almost the same expression for any emotion :-)
Johanka Simkova - who bought me chocolate from nearly every country that she went to during her travels...I don't think any student has given me so much chocolate in my time here! A legend!
Jirka Eichler - another one who used the line 'What was the question?' a lot... ;-)
Filip Harna - for looking like Europe and as if he's going to sing 'It's the Final Countdown!'
Johnny Jorenek - for telling some funny stories :-)
David Bily - for his awesome French accent :-)
Betty Klatova - for being a ball of sunshine!
Pavla Koprivova - for an awesome concert!
Milan 'M' Lancaric - for just being 'M' ;-)
Neo Sukenik - for the story about the T-shirt!! Helped me to understand Czech mentality a lot!
Eva Tichakova - for her love of the Beatles :-) (& also for Alda, who was also a top student!)

If your name is not there, don't feel so bad...I generally have good memories about most of the students that I work with...and I'm amazed that over the years I can still remember people's names.

In closing - this has been another special year for me - top classes! I am truly blessed & privileged to work with such a great number of talented & respectful students.
THANK YOU!!
It makes my job a joy to do.
Mr E

I.S.L.I

International Student Leadership Institute

Quite simply, this is the BEST event for young people that I know about. Perhaps there are others that I'm not aware of...but they would have to be very, very good to beat this.
150 students - made up of 75 Americans (from US Bases in Europe) and 75 Europeans (from such countries as Belgium, Holland, Italy, Estonia, Finland, Denmark, Germany, Hungary, and Czech Republic!) - being split up into 10 groups of 15 each, working on the theme of Leadership - which is presented to them by a group of around 14/15 young people (known as Regents) who were elected from the previous year. (With some help from some Adult Regents)

Having heard a lecture on a point of leadership, the group then has about 15-25 minutes to present a sketch,song,poem,rap,mime,poster etc on a question set to them by the Regents. It is not a competition - which makes it refreshing! No marks given - just the freedom to express yourselves as a group.

The only competitive parts are the Ice-Breaker Activities - which are done on the first evening - and which my team, the Green King Bears won! (What a feeling that was! To be part of a winning team - this was new to me at ISLI) The other competition was the Olympics, which involved 4 games in which all team members worked together. This was won by the Lime Unicorns :-)

Other than the lectures (4 times a day) - there was Open Stage - an opportunity, after lunch, for students to show their talents - anything from singing, playing an instrument, dancing (ballet too!), monologues etc...and what talent there was! Awesome is a cliche, but it surely was at least that!
The morning lectures end with 'Newsbreak', which quickly becomes the most awaited moment of the day - some fun (with Drew & Tyler), and then the moment that everyone has been waiting for (except for most of those who will be punished...!) 'You lost it - we found it - and you're screwed!' Basically, if you lose anything, you end up on stage, in front of everyone, and have to do something embarrassing - such as French Push Ups (as done by Klara K!), or miming a different topic to the one the audience has been told, or the wheelbarrow race...and other things! Great fun...but I was very nervous as 3 times I'd left my fleece lying around...the first time, I found out just in time as Holly H (CGL) had handed it in! The 3rd time I returned to find my fleece in Holly's hand, as she was off to do the dirty deed! Yes, even CGL's can be punished!

There were Interest Groups on 2 evenings (an opportunity to try 3 different activities) - the subjects ranged from Speed Dating and learning Finnish to Ballroom Dancing and Improvisational Acting...and many more!

There was also the Myers-Briggs Test - a very useful exercise to discover what kind of leader/team member you are. And the Issues Forum - a controversial topic - Abortion. I have to say that this highly sensitive topic was handled extremely well, and intelligently by all students.

And all of this builds up to the last night - the voting ceremony for the next year's Regents. For the first time, the Czechs had two candidates (and we'd had to narrow this down from 5 earlier in the week!) - Mia & Lucy. Both of them gave a great speech (in front of around 180 people), and Mia was elected! (Well done, Mia! Great effort, Lucy!) However, the toughest competition was surely for the US Regents - only 3 could be chosen from 19 candidates!! :-o I have to say that the standard this year among the Americans was the best that I have heard/seen...in the past, I've seen some students having their hair shaved off, throwing out sweets to the audience (with NO speech), a 'sexy-dance' which failed miserably...But this year was excellent, and I think the majority of those who did not succeed should not be ashamed.

The last morning is the closing ceremony...a little subdued, the flags are rolled away silently...goodbyes and tears and photographing is all around...
But what a week!!
Personally (I am loathe to use superlatives ;-)) - this was the BEST year so far!! I had a marvellous and very talented Colour Group - from the first evening, I knew it was going to be special...and it was! They were easy to direct, and to work with, and a joy to watch...like watching a symphony come together, everyone playing their part...At times like that, there surely can be no better job than being a teacher :-) I came home exhausted and in need of sleep. Today is Weds and I'm still catching up! But it was worth it, and I look forward to many more happy years with ISLI.

A special note for the Regents - this year's group was exceptional, and you should ALL be very proud.
Colour Group Leaders - a terrific and encouraging and supportive group of people I have not worked with so often! :-)
Adult Regents - I admire your energy, enthusiasm and tireless work with so many things behind the scenes...and you get the least sleep of all!
THANK YOU, ISLI!!! :-)

Crime & Punishment

A few weeks ago I set my Weds seminar group an assignment - they had to write me an essay describing a crime and a suitable punishment for it. After I'd collected their essays, we were to debate some of the issues which they'd looked at...
However, 3 students hadn't done the homework :-(
In a moment of inspiration, I decided that we would enact a courtroom scene - the 3 students were charged with not doing their homework - two said that they were too busy and had forgotten about it - the other one said that he was probably lazy and couldn't even remember it.
I was the prosecutor and one of the remaining students volunteered to be the defence - the rest of the class (about 9-10) were to be the jury.
The students gave their testimonies...then I opened my case and asked some questions - the one with the bad memory came very close to being charged with crimes against English, as some of his grammar was a bit dodgy!
Then the defence made some closing remarks & the jury was sent out.
I expected that all 3 would be found 'not guilty'...and quickly. But time passed and in the end I had to ask the jury to come back in (so we could move the lesson along). They came back, nominated a spokesman, and said that the one with the bad memory was 'stupid' and therefore could not possibly be guilty. He protested against being called 'stupid' - I suggested he could be found 'guilty' if he wished, and he dropped the protest ;-)
However, the other 2 were found 'guilty' as charged, and their punishment was to write a poem about me, and to read it to the class in the next seminar...which I think is due to happen next week...and I'm looking forward to it!
On reflection, this was a great way to role play a topic, and is something that I could use creatively in future for such offenders of not doing homework, and using mobile phones in the lesson ;-)

A miracle!! :-)

Back in November, I heard a story of a horrible accident that happened to the boyfriend of Anna, I student I taught last year. Leo fell from about the 3rd floor of a building and suffered severe head injuries, which obviously affected his brain. He was unable to breath by himself and was unconscious for some time...indeed, he was in a coma. He also had some fractures, but they were treatable. There were also complications with his stomach area. 
The long-term prognosis was grim...a miracle was needed. 
I heard about it - my wife & I promised to pray for this young man. We got other people involved in praying too. 
Before Christmas, things looked to be getting worse (if they could have got any worse!) - he had a stroke...internal problems... By Friday 30.12.2011, his whole body was septic and he stopped to breathing, and when doctors wanted him to start to breathe on a ventilator a (tube to his mouth and lungs) he had a cardiac arrest. The doctors tried to resuscitate him for half an hour! (By now, Leo's brain had been without oxygen for a very long time.) On that very evening, the doctors also told Anna that she & her family would see him for the last time...that he was dying and could no longer live... His lungs were terribly damaged,and the last part of the lungs was only just working (but only with the ventilator on 100% of oxygen and at the highest pressure)... 

The next day... he was still alive!  

In the middle of January they said he would never get his mind back, or would be deeply and even mentally disturbed - there was nothing else to hope for...

And then Leo began to get better every day. Little by little he started to move his hands, then his  legs, and then he finally opened his eyes. At last, about 2 weeks ago (2.2.12) he could shake his head as a 'YES' or 'NO', and two days after that, on the 4th February, he started to talk!! He moved his arm. He remembers some things... Leo told them that St. Mary is all-powerful, and that he saw her in a tunnel he saw on New Year's Eve. 

And so, Leo is back in the land of the living! 
If that isn't a miracle...then I don't know what is...!!!! 

(note!!! I have Anna's permission to share this story! :-))

A promise of things to come...

The other day, I was out walking in the bitter cold of this seemingly never-ending winter...and I began to think about things to come..

• Spring - I love spring! Surely this season is my favourite one! The sun comes out a bit more (I hope), the birds sing and pair up & have young...some birds migrate back...flowers appear again, the days get longer, warmer...Hope springs in my heart!
• I.S.L.I. - a yearly event that I attend with some students from S.G.O. at the end of February - a week of jam-packed activity. Great fun for the students, tiring for everyone...but an adrenaline blast for all! A chance to meet some old friends, to see young people practice not only their English skills (in their interactions with Americans & other Europeans), but also in grappling with the concepts of leadership, and also the provocative Issues Forum Topic (Abortion). 
• Cycling!! I have really missed cycling & look forward to getting back into the saddle!
• May holidays - the hope that we will get not one, but TWO long weekends at the beginning of May...we usually choose the one nearest Petra's birthday to celebrate her birthday, but also to enjoy the spring there.
• Maturita Exams - demanding for the students, certainly...but also for the teachers - moreso for myself as I'm involved in sooooooo many exams - all of which I thoroughly enjoy. The joy of seeing the students do well...the disappointment of knowing they could have done better...or that they failed...
• ...and after all that has happened, there is the promise of the summer holidays!!! But let's not run tooooo far ahead! :-)

As someone who believes in God & tries to keep 'in step with him' in my daily life, I am also aware of his promises for me. Sometimes, it can be a problem to try and look too far ahead. You can almost be longing for the future so much that you miss what's happening now. Hope is a good thing (as was noted in The Shawshank Redemption) - but today is the day! I am so glad that God has promised that he will never leave me, never give up on me, will always accept me (even if I mess up), and that he has 'plans and a future for me'...Yes. He is that interested...not just in me...but also in you, dear reader...

I can't always keep my promises. I am human. I mess up. But God always keeps his promises :-)

Who is leading who?

Just after Christmas, a student told me an interesting story...
She went to play in a youth concert in a town that she was unfamiliar with. Leaving the venue, she needed to find her way to the main train station. She asked a couple of passersby for directions, but surprisingly they couldn't help her. Then she saw a woman walking her dog, and she kindly offered to take her there, as it was on her way. While they were going there, they engaged in conversation, asking each other questions and some time later they arrived at the station. I'm not sure how it came about, but the lady then indicated that she was blind! She said that normally she would have used her 'stick', but in this instance she took the dog for a walk! The student was so amazed and impressed as the lady had appeared to be so confident in walking and in knowing where she was going...
Really, this was a case of the blind leading the...lost! :-)

Some film recommendations...

During my time at this school (SGO) and in working with students, it has become clear to me how 'uneducated' they are as to some great films...so, here is a sample list to get you started in the direction of some quality films:

1. The Shawshank Redemption - surely the greatest film ever made - tough to watch, but an inspirational story of friendship and hope http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0111161/

2. Dead Poets Society - a classic film about teaching - 'Carpe Diem!'http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097165/

3. Babette's Feast - a simple story, well told...but a great point. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0092603/

4. Field of Dreams - a fantasy film, don't be put off by the baseball interest...a great film about faith & vision - even if everyone else thinks you are mad - and about family :-)http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0097351/

5. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - in my opinion, the BEST western ever made! Great film & performances, and some classic scenes and one-liners...awesome music too!http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0060196/

   
   

That will do for now...more later ;-)

Using your super powers!

A few weeks ago I had a seminar & we were discussing the topic of 'Super Heroes' and what kind of powers they would have, if they could...
I asked one girl, (who has had a notoriously bad attendance record this year!) - "And what super power would you have?"
"I'd like to be able to be invisible," she replied.
I couldn't resist the opportunity...
"Well, according to my records, you seem to have that power already!" :-)

A life defining moment

I am now in my 6th year as an  'English teacher'. I sometimes feel a bit of a fraud about that title. I am not a 'qualified' teacher, in the classical sense. I left school when I was 16 (because I was fed up of it!), and until I was in my 30's I didn't study for anything...until I learnt Basic Sign Language. Then in 1999-2000 my wife & I spent a year at Bible College in Scotland. Though I never considered myself to be an 'academic' (compared with some of the younger bright sparks that were there!), I equipped myself to the task & did quite well. My Principal commented that whereas others could grapple with the deep truths of the Bible in complicated ways, I had the style of a farmer! :-) It was meant as a compliment! (I hope!) 
It was after my 5 minute homily that Tony Gray (the Principal) said that I 'had a gift of communication'. It was a defining moment for me from that year. Someone had seen my 'gift'. And I must admit, it gave me a buzz...but I really didn't know what to do about it.
He later suggested to me that I should consider doing a TEFL Course, with a view to teaching English in Czech Republic (as we were planning to move there sometime in the future). I politely avoided the idea - one, because it was way too expensive for us to afford it (at that time), and two...well, me? A teacher? No way! I was no fan of school, and was in no rush to get back into that environment. I'd left it behind a long time ago...


It's a long story since then. Some of it has been related in this blog...I'm sure more parts of the jigsaw that has become my journey will follow. But I have to say that at this moment in time, I am absolutely convinced that I am in the right place - not just where we are living - but in my job. I love it, and yes, I believe that I was made for this, prepared for this...and the best is still to come. It has been an adventure. Not being a 'regular' teacher, I had to make things up as I went along. A lot of hit & miss lessons - learning what works, what doesn't...but always striving to encourage students to express themselves in the wonderful gift that they have in the English language. 



And then the other day an ex-student kindly sent me the following link:
http://life-engineering.com/1747/do-public-schools-kill-creativity/
"In 2006 Sir Ken Robinson gave an unforgettable talk at TED about how to develop children’s natural capacity for creativity and imagination, and how the design of our current public school systems are working to kill that creativity."


This is stunning! Please - if you haven't seen this already, do yourself a favour & watch it. Just listening to this man affirmed what I believe in my heart to be true. I am still on the journey. I don't profess to have reached perfection - there is more work to do. But this is where I'm going :-) And I hope my students enjoy the ride - and that other teachers get the point too :-)

A gift

Shortly after Christmas, we went to Tovačov, a local area with some lakes and a great place to do some bird watching. Of course, at this time of the year there aren't so many birds around - but you never know - you just might spot something unusual...
Towards the end of a fairly fruitless time we spotted a Sea Eagle flying over the far side of the lake. Actually, with one arm carrying the telescope and the other clutching my binoculars to my face, I thought it was a heron! :-) But Petra was certain it was an eagle...We set up the telescope & looked around, to see if it had perched anywhere, but we had no joy...
As we were heading back towards the car, we had one last look...sure enough, there was the eagle! And what do you know? He flew towards us...and over us, circling as he went & gaining more height. This was easily the best view we've ever had of a sea eagle! We just enjoyed the sight, and it was a couple of minutes before we were stunned into action to try and get a photo! We managed to get one with our zoom...but I guess nothing will ever capture the beauty of what we witnessed. We had many gifts over Christmas, and we are very thankful for them all...but we can thank God for this one :-)

Nowhere is now here...

Been a while since I posted...but some stories to catch up on ;-)
A few weeks before Christmas in one of the seminars, a young lady was reading a text which I was following...when suddenly she lost me! She said 'now here...' Confused, I asked her where she was reading from...it was the same passage, but she'd read the word 'nowhere' as 'now here'!! :-) I found this not only very amusing, but also highly original...in fact, I don't recall a single student doing that in my 5 and a bit years at SGO! We had a few laughs about it & I hoped she saw the funny side...of course, The Beatles had a famous song - 'Now Here Man'...and the Talking Heads also did 'Road to Now Here'...
In the very next lesson, I told the students that I'd just had an interesting experience. I wrote 'nowhere' on the blackboard and asked a young man at the front to say the word. To be honest, I really expected no problems...but quick as a flash, without so much as a blink, he said 'now here'!!! His friend next to him gave him a look which suggested he'd forgotten how to speak English and said 'It's 'nowhere'!' Cue more laughter...
What are the odds of that happening?!
Well, as Neil Young named one of his albums - 'Everybody Knows this is Nowhere'....