An embarrassing moment...

On Friday night we went to the Ball featuring the classes of 8A,8B & 6AF...we found our way to the table, number 6, and awaited our friends who would be sitting with us...however, as the ball was about to begin no-one seemed to be coming. Mrs Blahova & her husband joined us as they couldn't find their table, and we were later joined by Mrs Bekova & her husband (who also seemed to be lost)...but as we had free seats at the table, it was no problem.
The ball began & we really enjoyed ALL of the presentations, though I confess to being very stunned & amused to see 8A performing with face-masks of the teachers - two of mine running rampant! :-) As with all balls, it is great to see the students that I teach dressed up & looking smart, handsome & beautiful.
The the end of the presentations came...the students all lined up, and in 2's and 3's proceeded to come straight to our table & bow politely... It was a prime position - a great view....but then one of the men said, 'You don't think we're on the director's table, do you?' And that was when I noticed Mr Slouka standing at the back of the hall...yes, standing...
I broke into a hot sweat...I'm sure I saw my life flash in front of me...and as each couple or trio of students came forward, it was all I/we could do to return a nervous smile. I haven't been so embarrassed in all my time at SGO so far! :-o
Finally, the last students smiled & bowed...Mr Slouka made a speech, everyone sang a song...and when that was over, we made a hasty exit, a bit like Mr Bean!
We realised that we had the right number...just the wrong colour on our ticket! :-)
Afterwards, I saw Mr Slouka & apologised profusely...and he was very kind & reasonable. No problems.
But it is a moment that I won't forget in a hurry....

Unusual ways of punishment

As a teacher, I sometimes have to use some discipline in order to keep the show on the road. All of my students now know how allergic I am to mobile phones in the lesson...I never want to hear a peep out of them, never want to see the furtive hand movements under the desk as they check that 'urgent' message...so, over the last couple of years I invented the 'yellow card, red card' system - which works quite well. It's simple: if I catch you (or your phone) then it's a yellow card - the next time it happens (just like a football match) it's a red, no questions asked. The punishment can vary...in the past I've got the students to either write me an essay on 'why I should not use my mobile phone in a lesson', or a talk in front of the class on the evils of such behaviour...but I'm still working on it ;-)

Another one is chewing gum in the lesson - actually, it's not really a punishment...I provide a piece of paper, with this written on it:

CHEWING GUM

PAPER

kindly use this for your gum – you don't need it in this lesson

I got the idea from a tea room ;-) It works quite well...

Recently, I have begun to punish students for not bringing their exercise books with them - well, they have paid a lot of money for them & should get the most out of them! So, if the book is A.W.O.L. then they have to either sing a song (it could be a solo or a group song, depending on the number of students who have forgotten their book!)...but if they refuse to sing, then they have to buy some chocolate for me (plain/dark, as my wife likes it too :-))! 

I have heard of some punishments given by other teachers from universities...

One of my friends, Simon Gill, gets a bottle of quality beer if a mobile phone goes off in his lesson ;-)

And one student told me that her Japanese teacher, who is quite strict, has a novel way of dealing with lateness...he tells the student to leave the class, and they have to go outside & climb up to the balcony on the first floor (where the class is situated), and then they have to climb in the window! I like it!! Mind you, I think I might have problems if my lessons are on the 3rd floor...

Problems with learning English... ;-)

After 12 years of living in Czech Republic, and 6 and a half years of teaching at SGO, I think I have a fairly good idea of some of the more common problems that Czechs have when learning to speak English - which is also helped by the fact that my Czech has also improved, thus helping me to sympathise with some of the students. 

As the New Year begins, and Maturita draws near, allow me to make some things clear, especially for my current students - though I'm sure some ex-students might appreciate this too ;-) The following is a list of the more regular errors - it is not an exhaustive list (I'm working on that!) - but I really believe that if every student could correct these faults, then their English would be so much better :-) 

• Informations - this word has never, ever existed - the problem is when Czechs translate it, they usually begin with the word 'many...(informations)...' - delete 'informations' from your brain! Try using 'a lot of', or 'much' or even 'some' instead...and it will help.
• walking in the nature - this could be an embarrassing mistake, as it sounds like 'walking in the natural', which to an English person would sound like 'walking naked'! Now, some students just might go walking naked in the...countryside (the correct word, of course!) - but it is quite rare, especially in this weather! So...please use the word 'countryside'. You can like nature, you can enjoy it, but don't go for a walk in it :P
• no 'must' in the past tense!! Very simply - must is used in the present or future...NEVER in the past...unless you're story-telling (and then it gets a bit more complicated...)
• 'he say me/he said me', 'he tell me' –  please, please, please...stop saying this!! 'He said to me...', or 'He told me...' Work on your tenses ;-)
• No – 'the' London/'the' England – or most place names...there are only a few exceptions...(the USA, the Czech Republic, the United Kingdom etc...) but not for a capital city!! Cut it out of your vocabulary!
• the difference between 'recipe' & 'receipt' - usually mixed up because of the Czech word 'recept' - which, depending on the context can mean both of the aforementioned words...or even (the one they always seem to forget!) 'prescription' - yes, that piece of paper you get from the doctors for your medicine which you can't remember the name of ;-)
• correct use of 'inspiration' – not 'inspirated by' – someone can be an inspiration, you can be inspired by someone/something...but 'inspirated'...uh-hu...no!!
• not 'in these days' – just 'these days' or 'nowadays' - English people NEVER say 'in these days' - learn one of the other options...
• no 'at first' – use 'first of all' or 'to begin with' - 'at first' can be used in some story-telling...but mostly, Czechs are looking for the other options...
• the difference between 'action' & 'event' - a problem because of the Czech word 'akce'... - Action is something active - like Bruce Willis or Chuck Norris - it's action... an Event is the thing that is happening...the event is a football match, the action is the football (unless you're an Aston Villa fan, then that won't make any sense at all to you!) - a wedding is the event...the action...that's the kissy-face part ;-)
• no such word as 'sympatik' !!! - Best to say that someone is 'kind or friendly'...the problem is the word 'sympathetic', which has a different meaning to what the Czechs usually mean...
• 'nice' – increase your vocabulary!! It's worth looking on the internet to discover the history of the word 'nice'... ;-) It used to mean 'nasty'! But it is lazy English to use it too much (even some teachers can't stop over-using it!) - and if I have to mark an essay & see 'nice' 4 or more times, then I know it shows a lack of vocabulary & ability to express oneself...use other words. For example - NO man wants to be called 'nice'...'handsome,brave, warrior' are much better...and what young woman wants to be called 'nice'? Surely 'beautiful, lovely, gorgeous' are better? ;-)
• pronunciation: comfortable/vegetable etc - yes, I know...even teachers have problems with this!! But please learn how to say these words correctly...and even argue with your teachers, if you have to! You have MY permission, as I've told them about it! :D 
• Bird, Beard, Bear, Beer!! Use the correct word! - it is amazing how many times students mix these words up, and in Maturita I am told that I have a 'bird' on my face, there is a Great Beer Lake in Canada, a 'beard' is singing in the tree, and would I like to go to the pub for a 'bear'?! 
• careful of getting words/phrases mixed up: 'ozone lawyer' - this can be amusing to make such mistakes - but it can happen when you stretch your vocabulary...so, don't be afraid!
• mental/physical/spiritual etc – explain - again, a problem because of the word 'psychický' - which means that Czechs can mix up physical with mental...very simply:mental - thought/thinking...physical - body...spiritual - spirit/soul...
• travel – 'by foot' is old-fashioned...keep it simple...in England we...walk ;-)
• to live/stay somewhere - a problem because of the word 'bydlet' - but we 'stay' in a hotel or with friends...and we always 'live'...at home... ;-)

And that is all for now ;-) I do hope that these notes will be helpful to someone...and a very happy New Year to all of my readers :-)

Mr E

Sharp Wit!

As a so-called native speaker, I have a big advantage over my students...or so I think ;-) I can think very quickly & have a wit (humour) to go with it. I love playing with words, making fun with (not of, I hope! :-)) the students, and generally making people laugh. Yes, a teacher is some form of entertainer, I believe.
But sometimes, I am really surprised by the lightning wit of some of my students...When people begin to play with the language humorously & are even a little satirical, it's great! It shows a real feel for the language.

Here are 2 recent incidents:

One girl was talking about the Czech Education system, as reflected by SGO...she said, "Our school is prestigious, but I don't believe it. How can I when in one of our classrooms, we are trying to look at a film on the screen, and we have no blinds on our 'prestigious' windows, and we have to cover them with cardboard!?" (This comment inspired me to begin to create a song "We are Prestigious" - to the theme of "We are the Champions" ("no time for Hejcin, 'cos we are prestigious..." :-)) A very sarcastic touch. However, I did remind the student that I'm sure that SGO provides only prestigious cardboard!!

In another lesson, we were discussing the theme of culture. One girl said she'd been to France & had seen an exhibition about the 2nd World War. I asked her what they'd had on display, as the French did not have a reputation of being brave fighters during the war...one girl quickly jumped in with "Perhaps they were displaying their collection of white flags?" To which I laughed & gave a high five...I wish I'd said that!! :-)

Laughter is good...and necessary :-)

Discouragements...and encouragements ;-)

It's not often that I get discouraged in my job...but once in a while, something happens - but I guess it's more to do with a sense of disappointment. Perhaps sometimes I expect more from my students than I should? But today was a little bit like that...

It's not often that I give out '5s'...a rare occasion...but today I actually had to give 5 (FIVE!) 5's!! Yes, I was the one 'throwing them out like confetti at a wedding' (a description that I usually reserve for some other teachers who have a reputation of being more harsh than myself)! To be fair - four of them were for late homework - although it was more to do with broken promises. One of my bad habits is to take people at their word - it's called trust ;-) Of course, at times I can be gracious, and have been - but today I guess I reached a certain limit. The other one was for a lack of effort in a talk - which is an understatement, I think
:-)

I sometimes get discouraged when I hear about other teachers' 'methods' of teaching...I'm the first to agree that a general reformation is needed with the Czech Education system - we all need to be playing on the same pitch, as it were. But clearly, we are not.

I get discouraged when I hear about teachers bullying & shouting & being generally sarcastic and mean...I know that at times I walk a fine line with my humour...but I do try to keep a good measure of respect in it. Do teachers really need to shout to make a point? Even scream??!! :-o

But I have to say, that on the whole, the encouragements of my work far outweigh the negative stuff! I was encouraged in the creativity & thoughtfulness of some students in their presentations today. And yesterday, a student who has been struggling started to show some genuine progress - now that is what it's all about! Even that incident itself brings me great joy & hope.

This is always a difficult time in the school year - the long dark days, the lack of sunshine, seemingly endless & dull hours sat on one's backside, while their brains are feeling like they're being sucked out of their noses by some teachers. Yes, I think this is the dark before the dawn, especially for those doing Maturita. My advice for all students? Stick at it. It will pass. It always comes to pass. And remember....your teachers are humans too, and have feelings...