A week later, and the feeling of relief lingers...strongly! Oh, the sweet smell, taste, sound, sight of success...wonderful!! Finally, I have time to write - it'll come out in splurges. I will probably be vomiting stories for sometime to come.
Of all the exams that I did, perhaps the biggest disappointment was History. My teacher & I had worked SO hard together. I had gone as often as I could to see her & go through a topic that I had prepared...sometimes every week, others every fortnight. Indeed, I had covered 'Early Middle Ages' with her, & when I first sat down to look at the topic, I thought, 'I know this...'
I made a confident start with my notes...and then I went blank! I really hit a wall in my mind. So when the questioning began, I quickly used up my pitiful ammunition, and then fired blanks...and finally resorted to waving the white flag...!
My teacher tried so hard to help me, but unfortunately, she led me up a difficult & unhelpful track...to do with church orders etc...when what I really needed was 1066, or the Vikings!! Of course, when I got home, I checked my material & was horrified to see all the stuff that I could have talked about. However, believe me, I was VERY, VERY happy to get a 4 (5 is a fail) - it was that close.
At least now I have an awareness of how it feels for my students. It's an awful feeling - like a rabbit caught in the headlights of a juggernaut, bearing down on you a 100 m.p.h. I never thought I would panic so much - I just froze. A few commiserating words from my teacher afterwards gave me hope that I'd done enough to survive.
One thing that I have appreciated from this year of studies has been a developing interest, verging on love, of history. I've found that the older I get, the more history is fascinating to me - especially the history of this country that is now my home. If I'm honest, it's been a tough year & I'm so glad I don't have to go through it ever again - but at least a new sphere has been opened up in my life. A Polish friend has sent me a list of WW2 books that he thinks I should read...it's good to be able to read something that I want to read! :-)
I wonder...have I made history myself? Am I the oldest 'student' to pass the current (or any Czech Maturita)? Am I the oldest Englishman to do it? :-)
