Maturita mistakes and other oddities - 2014 - Part 1

Here we are again, with another collection of mistakes and interesting comments from this year’s Maturita exams. As ever, the authors of the following remarks will remain anonymous – but perhaps you will find yours there? ;-)

A regular occurrence in the exams is the changing of historical and topical information, such as:
“Hemingway wrote The Old Man and the Sea, which I also wrote.”

Teacher: “What are the political parties in Britain?” Student: “Democrats and Republicans.”

“The Queen has one son.” (Really?!!)

“Martin Luther King was involved in the abolition of slavery.”

Teacher: “Who is the current English Prime Minister?” Student: “I know Winston Churchill was…and then it was Tony Blair...”

“Kate Middleton married Prince Charles.” (Wasn’t he a bit old for her??)

(Their Royal Highnesses, engaging, as one does, in some extreme ironing...)

And of course, never a year goes by without the geography of the world being adjusted in some of the talks:
Student: “In London, we can see the Big Eye.” Teacher: “Aren’t you confusing that with Mordor?”

“In England, there is also Springfield…it’s a city of steel.” Of course, they meant Sheffield, but somehow the Simpsons came to mind...

“Franz Kafka lived in the Golden Mile.” Well, I for one never knew that he had lived in Blackpool!

“In Washington, we can find the Statue of Liberty...” (Which clearly likes to go for a walk now and then...)

“The country of England is divided into Shires...” Are there also hobbits there?

“One of the lakes (in the Great Lakes) is the Grand Canyon...”

Teacher: “What is the capital of Australia?” Student: “Sydney.” Teacher: “Are you sure?” Student: “Yes.” Teacher: “Look at the map again.” Student: “It’s Canberra.” Teacher: “Why is Canberra the capital of Australia.” Student: “Because it is named after the animal, the kanberra...?” Teacher: “Do you mean the kangaroo?” Student: “Yes.”

“There are trees in Niagara Falls...”

“The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is located in the south-west of mainland Europe.” (And if THAT were true, I think we’d have much better weather there, and the sea would be a little warmer...)

“In Prague is Jan Hus Square...” (I guess it was a recent promotion?)

“In Prague Old Town Square, there is a 50 hundred years old clock...” (...and it’s been keeping time all these years!)

“A big river in the USA is the Otarino...” (Nope...I have NO idea either what they are referring to!??)

“The USA is divided into two parts. One big here, and one in Alaska. In Alaska is very winter.” (Nice use of Vinnetou English!)

On Australia, Canada, and the British Commonwealth the student began, “I would like to talk about Austria…”

“The native people in Australia are the Moaris...”

“In Olomouc, we can go and see the lighthouse on the holy mountain...” (The New Jerusalem, no doubt!)

“London was founded by the Romanian army.” (And my friends tell me that there are now enough Romanians in England to form a new army!)

And one of our old favourites is William Shakespeare, who gets some great treatment each year...

“Shakespeare had a theatre called the Globe, and he played there some games...” (Wonder if he was good at chess?)

“Shakespeare was born in 1664, I hope…” (Not as much as Mrs Shakespeare hoped! That date was about 100 years after the event...a very long labour!)


Teacher: “Did Shakespeare write any comedies?” Student: “King Lear.”

Part 2 to follow.... ;-)