Get me to the church on time!

On Saturday we had an invitation to the wedding of our friend, Nick, who after a long, long search had finally found a wife whilst at Bible School in Slovakia - Miska. The wedding took place at a church in Bratislava & was due to be at 14.00. We'd never been to Bratislava before, but calculated that it would take about 2-2 and a half hours to get there, so we left about 10.30-ish to allow ourselves plenty of time - maybe even to have a look around at the castle which was nearby. It was a beautiful day, though very warm. We cruised through Czech Republic along the bumpity-bump delights of the legendary D1 motorway. If you have a back problem, this stretch of concrete should iron out the niggle...and if you don't have a back problem, it might give you one! We were soon into Slovakia and heading towards Bratislava...and then we hit the traffic jam at around 12.20...Thus began an agonising crawl towards our destination! There was traffic coming both ways through the small town of Stupava. We barely managed to move out of 2nd gear, and most of the time we had the engine switched off as we came to regular standstills.
As time passed, we (especially me!) became more desperate. Nick had waited so long to meet a wife...and I had shared some of this waiting time with him...was I to be robbed of the honour of seeing this momentous occasion!?! At 13.45, still on the outskirts of Bratislava, I uttered a heartfelt & desperate, almost angry prayer - "Surely not today, God! Not today!" Suddenly, we had a policeman in front of us - he'd been directing the traffic through a major junction. He waved us on, and then stopped the traffic behind us...and then there was a clear dual carriageway ahead of us! After nearly an hour and a half of suffocating in this horrendous jam, we were moving like the wind. Petra navigated with our map (she is my personal GPS!), and we just kept going. Eventually, we stopped at some lights & were pondering which way to go next. I saw a sign for the castle so we turned up there...as we did so, Petra noticed this was indeed THE road that we wanted! Shortly, we saw the church on our right! I immediately turned into the next road, we parked the car, trotted down the hill, got to the church (where the bride & her father were waiting - apparently, she'd got there 20 minutes earlier!), and sat down in the pew - it was precisely 14.00!! Amazing! (We were later to find out that other people were late & indeed some didn't even make it due to the traffic jams...)
And it was a wedding well worth getting there for - a beautiful time, and we wish Nick & Miska God's blessing in their journey ahead together.
But I also learnt something that day...
As a Christian, it's easy to think that when we pray, we have to be very correct & proper...perhaps even polite when we speak to God. But sometimes, when you need help, you've got to SHOUT OUT for help! And indeed, God does hear the cry of desperate people. Our case wasn't so serious, but I know from my life that desperate situations do require desperate praying...

Guess who's coming to dinner?

A funny & true story...
My mother told me that she'd been speaking with one of her neighbours whose son kept a pet boa constrictor...(as one does ;-)). He'd been to see the vet because the snake had stopped eating for about 2-3 weeks, and he thought it was dying. The vet looked at the snake and asked the man where he kept the snake. "In my bedroom." "Well," said the vet "I'm sorry to inform you that you'll have to move the snake somewhere else. You see, you are its next meal!" Apparently, when a boa fancies a big meal, it starves itself to make room for it! If the guy hadn't checked it out with the vet, he could easily have been breakfast...dinner...and supper! :-)

Some highlights from Maturita 2011 :-)

So, another year of exams has finished, and before I elaborate on my thoughts about the new State Maturita, I want to reflect on some of the more amusing moments from the exams...:-) Hope you enjoy reading them!

• one student told us how they collected mosquitoes! Really! Part of a science experiment, I think...
• one told us about how they 'jumped out of a plane' and described the sensation of flying in such a way that I could feel I was there!
• not so amusing...one girl couldn't recognise the Twin Towers with a plane in them...amongst other things, it led to the downfall in her English exam... :-o
• the student who brought his newly removed wisdom tooth with him, as if to prove he'd been to the dentist earlier! :-)
• a student was searching for the name of the flower that appears in spring...Miss V tried to prompt him..."Snow...?" "Snow...?" She dropped her pen on the table...He still didn't get it! "Snowdrop!" she said...(I turned to Mrs G & said, I thought it was 'snowpen'!!)
• The discovery that some students learn English from Yoda in Star Wars...For example, instead of saying 'I don't travel', they said, 'Travel not...' :-)
• A couple of students told us about Junkie Food...when they meant junk food... (I hope!) - for an English mind, it conjours up an interesting picture...what kind of food does a Junkie eat?! L.S.D man! (Liver, Sauce & Dumplings)...or perhaps some 'pickled heroin' (pickled herrings)...
• the student who informed us that in the London parks they have 'carpet grass'...it took me a few seconds to realise she meant a 'lawn'... :-o
• the wonderful story of a student who, at the age of 6 yrs old, asked his teacher to explain the mysteries of physics, and what gravity was. She told him that the earth was like a magnet, and that is why we stuck to it...He was not satisfied with this as humans are not made of metal...to which the teacher repsonded by saying that 'it's the spinach we eat which gives us the iron to keep us on the planet...'!!! (she referred the student to a psychiatrist because of this!! But I think it should have been the other way around!)
• one student was able to use a quotation in his talk - "Order is the grave of creativity..." How very true!
• the student who when asked to describe a picture of a room which was messy, said "I'd like to ask who took a picture of my room!" :-)
• and finally, the student who was describing the tradition at a Czech Wedding Feast, where the bride & groom feed each other by saying, "...and then they eat each other..." !!! :-)

How do you test a language?

Before I find time to write up my thoughts about the Maturita Exams, I'd like to chew this for a bit...
Just what is the best way, if one exists, to test a language? I guess (as a realtively novice teacher) that the purpose of teaching is to educate students, and at some point you have to find out if that teaching is working. As I'm a simple man, it goes something like this:

• I'm an English teacher.
• I want to teach English to students. They are (generally) quite motivated and want to learn.
• There is this thing called a cirriculum (which can be the troublesome part as it seems to be designed by people who have no concept of what constitutes being 'important' when coming into contact with English speaking people (for example, it is REALLY necessary to learn 15 types of herbs & the all the names of the fountains in Olomouc (even if a couple of them no longer exist?!))
• At various points during the terms, I try to 'test' my students English - usually with an essay or a short (2-3 min) talk on a topic (from the cirriculum) but from a non-typical angle (for example: not to recite a recipe to me including certain herbs, but to tell me about their relationship with food - which is what most people in England find it easy to talk about & seems to be a normal way of life...)
• Then, at the end of the year come the final exams - the Maturita...which this year was a little bit more complicated as it involved both School Exams (supposedly easier) and State Exams (supposedly harder)

And this is my question for now...just what should this exam be like?

• What should it consist of? Speech? Writing? Listening? Reading? Singing? :-)
• And what topics SHOULD be on the cirriculum? I would consider this to be a VERY important part...
• And if that can be agreed, then what form should each part take? As a case in point, let us use (for an example) the current situation - the School Exam (15 mins talk on ONE topic with some grammar (in Eng or Cz, depends on the teacher or student...sometimes (depending on the teacher!) this grammar part can take up almost half of the exam!) And the other option is the State Exam (15 mins, broken into 4 parts which cover 4 different topics (from a similar but slightly different list) which all have strict time limits:
• - part 1: a topic with questions
• - part 2: comparing pictures concerning another topic & giving an opinion on a statement about it
• - part 3: the 'main' topic - 2-3 mins of 'free' speech and then some 'controlled dialogue' with the teacher
• - part 4: role play about another different topic

OK, this is where we are now...and it looks like the shape of things for the next couple of years at least (because of Czech legislation)...but is this the best that there is?
Any suggestions from you bright minds out there? :-)

Been a while since I wrote...

Sometimes life just gets so busy & plain overtakes you. The desire to write is squeezed out by too many things happening, and then when a gap comes to write about it, the need to reflect, rest & just do other things further presses in on the creative side...
I have so many things to write about - but I'm just logging in today, as I near the end of 2 weeks of rather stressful & even emotional examining, to say that I am still here & that I haven't forgotten that I need to get all of this stuff out of me...perhaps a big splurge will come sometime next week? :-)
In the past few months, I've had some pains which ended up with my gall bladder being taken out & some unusual stones as a momento...then time to recuperate which coincided with a glorious spring, which also coincided with the acquisition of a telescope & new digital camera (to further us along the road of amateur bird watchers!).
Then on my return, some of my classes came to an end as they neared their 'holy week' preparation for the Maturita - the school leaving exam...a fun time, but also tinged with sadness...but it happens each year. I'm not sure that I ever get used to it, but it's a fact of my life that I live with for now.
Now the exams - the drama and nerves and success and failure...not to mention the stress and pressure for the teachers using the new State Exams (which I will post about another time...) - yes, at this moment, I feel quite tired, and a bit numb...I think I prefer to teach than examine. I can't wait to get back in with a class of students :-)
After this week, a little over 5 weeks to go and then the long summer holidays begin! Something to look forward to...but in the meantime, a lot to reflect on.
Be patient, dear readers & followers....something is coming on this blog...I promise ;-)