Ya canna change the laws of physics...!!!

One of my ex-students popped into English Club last week. It was good to catch up, and he is sure to have a funny true-life story to tell, and I was not disappointed. I have his permission to relate the following story in his own words...

"On my way back to Olomouc, I was waiting for the n. 17 bus to take me from the university campus to the main station in Pardubice. There were a lot of students at the bus station. It was Thursday and many students, like me, were headed home. When the bus finally arrived, the driver did not open the front door. Why? I don´t know. Everybody pushed inside, trying to get a seat. I was, as usual, late, so the only place left in that bus was behind the middle door. I did not have my ticket and there was no way of getting to the driver because of the crowd of people in my way. The driver closed the door and rolled out.

Suddenly, the woman next to me, asked me for my ticket. She looked like an ordinary passenger, so I asked her why. She replied that she was an inspector, and again she asked me to show her my ticket. I tried to explain my situation to her, but her only answer was "I don't care. Show me your identity card then." I took a deep breath and tried it again. "Madam, how am I supposed to get to the driver when there are so many people in my way and the front door remains closed?" Again, the same answer. All right you dumb lady, I thought, one more time: "Madam, do you understand the basics of physics? People are like liquid, you know, they are incompressible." But the lady was like a robot, and again she gave the same apathetic answer, The only change was that she asked me whether she should call the police or not.

I exploded like Mount Vesuvius in the year 79 a.d., bringing down inferno on the city of Pompeii, in this case on the traffic inspector. "Do you know the difference between people who understand physics and those who don´t? No? Well I will tell you. The first ones are engineers, the others are inspectors in public transport!" She turned red almost immediately. "Young man, do you think you are funny? Well, that´s 800 crowns for not having a ticket and another 400 for insulting a public official!" After that I concluded that only two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. I took my identity card and with an expression on my face of "We will meet again!", went into the hall of the main station."

I was relating this story to family in Nymburk on Saturday, and one of them told me another story...
A friend of his boarded a tram in Prague. He was accosted by a ticket inspector, so he pulled out his ticket...but it was an old one, used and out of date. The inspector then threw the ticket out of the window and said, 'That ticket was invalid, it's of no more use!' The friend then asked the inspector for their pass, to prove that they were an inspector. The inspector produced it from his pocket, whereon the friend snatched it from his hand and and threw it out of the window and said, "And you are no longer an inspector!"