Relationships

According to the 'wisdom' that is Facebook - at this moment in time, there are 9 possible relationships that a person can be involved in. They are as follows:

1. Single - which translated possibly means 'not in a relationship with anyone' and either a) happy with that - or b) would like that to change
2. In a Relationship - which I guess means - 'I'm not available for any relationship - hands off!'
3. Engaged - this is a very serious form of relationship...one step from marriage!
4. Married - finally, all those 'relationship statuses' can be forgotten about - you are 'home' :-)
5. It's Complicated - which in itself, could be a rather complicated statement...it could mean 'I'm seeing someone who is already in a relationship, but can't say who because FB will tell everyone!' - or, 'I'm interested in someone, but they can't stand the sight of me...' - or perhaps other such 'complicated things'...
6. It's an open relationship - I think this is a recent addition to FB statuses (but I might be wrong) - and I can only imagine it means 'my partner & I are free to see other people and are 'cool' about it...' I imagine it's the opposite to a 'closed' relationship ;-)
7. Widowed - perhaps one of the saddest statuses you could ever hope to see... :-(
8. Separated - usually applying to people who got married & are now having problems living with each other, and are happy for other people to know about it...
9. Divorced - the dream of marriage ended...sadly... :-(

However, as I reflect on the use of language & how people go to great pains to express themselves to everyone these days, especially on the internet, I realised that FB has not used up all of the possible relationship statuses...yet! :-) Here are my 'predictions' for some forth-coming updates:

1) Being stalked - you're almost certain that someone is following you, perhaps physically, and certainly on FB...but of course, you could be paranoid...
2) Stalker - you're very interested in someone...and they don't know it...but having this on your FB status might freak some people out, and that's 'cool' with you...
3) Dead - not physically (perhaps?), but you think the relationship is going nowhere & you want to give your partner a clue...
4) 'It's quite alright, and thank you for asking' - a sort of 'Pride & Prejudice' response, with a dash of British humour... ;-)
5) It's weird - things are NOT going as you thought they should, and some disturbing things have happened to change your opinion about your partner!
6) Terrific - I'm very happy & want the whole world to know it! :-)
7) Lovesick - this would be a popular one in Spring...you really, really like someone, but just don't have the guts to tell them...
8) One night stand - it was a party...and you don't remember a lot, and hey, this status would only last for one day...

Makes you think, doesn't it? ;-)
As someone who is very happily married - and I was single for a long time, and had my fair share of 'complicated, confusing, messy' relationships in my past... - I have to say that a real relationship (which is ultimately expressed in marriage) means sticking together through all of those 'status-like-situations' and coming through and finding diamonds in the coal, and roses growing in the manure...
Over to you, Phil....

Phil Collins - Doesn't anybody stay together anymore?

Interesting uses of English...

Marking some papers today, I came across a couple of gems - one unintentional, and one very witty use of English!
In the first one, the student was describing the fact that her grandfather had had 'an alarm clock' (budík) fitted in his heart :-) An amusing image, especially after the recent story of a girl swallowing an alarm clock! I quickly realised that it was a 'pacemaker'!
The second one was describing her grandmother - and after painting a general picture of her looks, she said 'and she has the consistency of a marshmallow' - which made me chuckle...and I commend such a clever & funny use of the language.

And it also reminds me...last week, in another essay, a student was describing her journey with English - to end the essay, she gave a description of how English works in her mind, which I felt was both amusing & creative...here is an extract: "There is a huge hall with lots of doors. Some are easy to open, some are locked. For example, the door of Maths. When you open the door of Maths, there is a big nice and colourful room, because I love Maths. Also the room of French, it is a huge room where everything is clean and orderly. And somewhere at the end of the hall, there is an old wooden door of English. I cannot always find the key to this room, so it takes me about five minutes to start to speak English. When you look in this room, there is a lot of dust everywhere and the things are very messily assembled. Now, I have to clean this room. It will be hard and it will take lots of time but I hope that one day, the room of English will be as nice as the room of Maths or French."

I wonder how many of my other students can relate to this!? ;-)

I love my job! :-)

This has been a busy week, but ultimately, a rewarding week. It's an unusual year in the sense of the teaching load that I have - I have to work it out, but I'm sure that I teach around 250-280 students (at least), mainly due to having 15 seminars (14 of whom I see every fortnight). That, combined with 3 younger classes in Pasteurova, offers me a lot of variety, and I therefore meet students of varying levels of English. Of course, in all of the classes the standards are split into higher and lower making it 'easier' to use the material I work with, but there are always challenges - how to keep the stronger students engaged & motivated (and not dozing off to sleep!), and how to inspire and encourage the ones for whom English doesn't come so naturally...or those who have chosen it as the 'easier option', because they can't hack Maths or Physics (for example)...

On top of that, I also run the English Club...well, I say, 'I' run it...but the truth is that lately, I'm learning & trying to let the students run it more...and it seems to be working ;-) This week we began to look at Motivation - and I have to say that it's an excellent choice for a topic! I did a short presentation on the topic, looking at different types of motivation...showed a short video clip...then got 4 'guinea pigs' to volunteer for an 'experiment'...all of which is improvised! They spoke about what they needed motivation with...and then I asked everyone else to get alongside them & to begin to find out more about the person, and what type of motivation might work for them...the homework being, that next week, they have to come back & propose something concrete for their 'client' - very much an interactive topic, not just theory. 

After the English Club, my wife & I went to listen to an ex-student, Klara Hekelova and her friend, Franta, speak about their 2 months of mission work in Brazil - and a fascinating experience it was too - another side of life altogether.

Oh yes, and just before the English Club, I finally had to confront my colleagues in the kabinet & inform them that they have been saying 'comfortable & vegetable' wrong for all these years...and they took it well :-)!! 

The point to these 'ramblings' is... I LOVE MY JOB! :-) Hard to believe that at 53 years of age, and with all the different jobs that I have done in the past, THIS is the BEST! And a LOT of credit has to go to the students...because without their support & love of English...well...it would be a lot harder ;-)

Hard to swallow...

This week, a student told me an unusual story... When she was a little girl, she was lying in her bed & was playing with a small alarm clock which was next to her bed...as small children do. Whilst in the act of just waving it around in the air randomly, it slipped from her grasp & fell into her mouth...and she swallowed it! :-o
She went to tell her parents, who of course, got into a bit of a panic, and they rushed her up to the hospital Accidents & Emergency Ward! Thankfully, they were able to pull it out without any problems.
(I found the scene very amusing...if such a thing happened these days, I'm sure there would be a big panic by everyone else if ringing alarm came from inside a small child! People would be leaping everywhere thinking that an explosion was about to happen!)
It reminded me of another story told by a student about 3-4 years ago. This young man had swallowed a small spoon. I expected that he'd have to have an operation...but he didn't...he had to pass the spoon the 'natural way'! :-) (Which sounds anything BUT natural!) I told this story to the girl & remarked that it was a good job he hadn't swallowed a fork, which could have been more painful... She said that while she was in the hospital the nurse had shown her some x-rays of objects that previous patients had put into their throat/stomach...and indeed, there WAS a fork!! :-o

OK, over to you...what objects have YOU swallowed?? I don't recall anything myself, but I do recall my sister disposing of a marble..or two... ;-)