Relationships

According to the 'wisdom' that is Facebook - at this moment in time, there are 9 possible relationships that a person can be involved in. They are as follows:

1. Single - which translated possibly means 'not in a relationship with anyone' and either a) happy with that - or b) would like that to change
2. In a Relationship - which I guess means - 'I'm not available for any relationship - hands off!'
3. Engaged - this is a very serious form of relationship...one step from marriage!
4. Married - finally, all those 'relationship statuses' can be forgotten about - you are 'home' :-)
5. It's Complicated - which in itself, could be a rather complicated statement...it could mean 'I'm seeing someone who is already in a relationship, but can't say who because FB will tell everyone!' - or, 'I'm interested in someone, but they can't stand the sight of me...' - or perhaps other such 'complicated things'...
6. It's an open relationship - I think this is a recent addition to FB statuses (but I might be wrong) - and I can only imagine it means 'my partner & I are free to see other people and are 'cool' about it...' I imagine it's the opposite to a 'closed' relationship ;-)
7. Widowed - perhaps one of the saddest statuses you could ever hope to see... :-(
8. Separated - usually applying to people who got married & are now having problems living with each other, and are happy for other people to know about it...
9. Divorced - the dream of marriage ended...sadly... :-(

However, as I reflect on the use of language & how people go to great pains to express themselves to everyone these days, especially on the internet, I realised that FB has not used up all of the possible relationship statuses...yet! :-) Here are my 'predictions' for some forth-coming updates:

1) Being stalked - you're almost certain that someone is following you, perhaps physically, and certainly on FB...but of course, you could be paranoid...
2) Stalker - you're very interested in someone...and they don't know it...but having this on your FB status might freak some people out, and that's 'cool' with you...
3) Dead - not physically (perhaps?), but you think the relationship is going nowhere & you want to give your partner a clue...
4) 'It's quite alright, and thank you for asking' - a sort of 'Pride & Prejudice' response, with a dash of British humour... ;-)
5) It's weird - things are NOT going as you thought they should, and some disturbing things have happened to change your opinion about your partner!
6) Terrific - I'm very happy & want the whole world to know it! :-)
7) Lovesick - this would be a popular one in Spring...you really, really like someone, but just don't have the guts to tell them...
8) One night stand - it was a party...and you don't remember a lot, and hey, this status would only last for one day...

Makes you think, doesn't it? ;-)
As someone who is very happily married - and I was single for a long time, and had my fair share of 'complicated, confusing, messy' relationships in my past... - I have to say that a real relationship (which is ultimately expressed in marriage) means sticking together through all of those 'status-like-situations' and coming through and finding diamonds in the coal, and roses growing in the manure...
Over to you, Phil....

Phil Collins - Doesn't anybody stay together anymore?