Here comes summer :-)

“The term is over: the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning.” 
― C.S. Lewis, The Last Battle

Counting down the last few days now until summer begins!
I love to savour this feeling...the week before 2 glorious months of summer holidays! Holidays that promise adventure, friendship, relaxation, perhaps some work (at the cottage), bird-watching, reading all those books that I haven't had time to read, watching all those films I haven't had time to watch, playing chess & sharing a beer with friends, walks, and precious time with my wife too :-) 
Much as I love my job (and I REALLY do!), this is a time when I as a teacher can recharge my batteries, and refocus, and get fresh inspiration for another year of creative & (I hope!) fun teaching!

The holidays begin on Friday afternoon when my wife & I will head off to Bile Carpathy (White Carpathians) in the south-east of Czech Republic for a week of hiking & exploring some new countryside, and maybe to spot some new birds too ;-) 
There is also the promise of a weekend away with a close group on friends in August (near Bouzov), and meeting up with some old friends in Prague in August too.
The rest of it? Well, lots of plans & ideas, as you can see, but it's like a blank sheet of paper, waiting for stories to be written.

I just LOVE this sense of anticipation... :-) The summer holidays are coming! Whooppee!! :D 

See you the other side of summer :-)

The ring...

Yesterday, I was marking some papers for the new classes who will be starting next year. These tests are used to separate the classes into higher & lower levels. This is a regular activity at this time of the year, and it always offers some amusing mistakes, and I peer into the Great Chasms of Lack of Comprehension - (don't think I'll go bungee-jumping in there!)...but yesterday, there was a new twist. Not so much a lack of comprehension...just a different way of looking at things, but also a great example of how language is learnt by young people these days.

Two students obviously learn the same way ;-) They were completing this exercise:

A: Oh, what a beautiful new ring you have!

B: (and here, they are supposed to write something like "Thank you, it was a present from my boyfriend/girlfriend/etc...")
The first student wrote: "Thank you. I think it's the best song." I confess, this confused me. I put it down to a total lack of comprehension, scratched my head, and moved on with my marking...

However, a couple of papers later another student wrote: "It's my favourite song." An alarm bell began to ring...(Ring?! There's that word again!) And then I had it! Suddenly the penny dropped and the mystery was open to me. I confess, I was on my own in the office at the time, and I laughed out LOUD!!!

These students were writing about the ring-tones on their mobile phones! :-)

Well, well, well - that puts things in a whole different light. And it also serves as a warning to us teachers when we set tests in future - we really need to be absolutely clear as to what we want, for it seems that even a word such as 'ring' is not to be trusted any more...is it, my precious? ;-)

An original essay :-)

A few weeks ago, I set an assignment for one class in order to close their marks - they were to write an essay on laziness ;-) - to express their thoughts and opinions on the topic, and to share some personal experiences with the subject.

I had some excellent and interesting and very readable replies...but I have never received an essay like this one, that you see in the picture! :-) Anna was so lazy that she hadn't even taken any writing paper with her on a trip to (or from?) Prague...however, she improvised and used the serviette that Regio-Jet kindly supply with the free coffee/drink etc. And so I got my essay, neatly wrapped in a small plastic bag, but sadly without the thin wooden sticks that are used to stir the coffee.

This was a first...but where will it end? Leo-Express toilet paper?
Well, I guess this is what you get when you encourage creativity...

The word on the street...

Here's a phrase to learn - it basically means, 'what is the gossip, or rumours' about a particular topic. I have been recently amazed at how quickly 'the word on the street' gets around...and HOW it gets around :-)

For certain delicate reasons, I'm not at liberty to discuss the situation this 'word' concerns...but let's just say that during maturita a situation arose...

Very soon, the news spread like wildfire, even the cleaners, caretakers, and buffet women heard the news...even as far as Pastuerova!
Then one teacher heard from a colleague in H**čin...and even they knew the story...but how? "Oh, the hairdresser told me," was the answer...

We used to say in England that the hairdressers knew ALL of the rumours & gossip around the town - seems to be the same here too.

It reminds me of this great song by The Band...

If the 'rumour' has reached you, I'd be interested to know how far away you are :-)

Maturita mistakes and other oddities - 2014 - Part 2

And here we go with the 2nd part :-)

Sometimes, health can be a problem for some students:
“Some children can have German muscles.” (Which, combined with man flu, could be lethal!)

“And some people can get man flu, which can’t be cured.” (I am glad that some of my teaching was remembered!!)

“I fell over and had a brain shake.” (Not quite like a milk shake...)

“I like to get out in the countryside and clean my head.” (Me? I use a shower...)

“I went to the dentist and he drilled me. The doctor check up me, and he hear my heart.” (Not sure I’ll be visiting either of those doctors in the near future!)

It’s also very refreshing when students can use genuine humour in their talks:
Teacher: (provocatively) “Have you ever eaten a horse?” Student: (who is a big fan of My Little Pony) “No, I’ve never been to Ikea.”

During the role play section of the State Exam, a student said to Mrs T, when discussing what to wear to the cinema, – “Well, if you want, we can go naked!”

Me: “Who is a smart teacher, who dresses well?” Student: “You, when you wear a dress!” (It was quickly made clear that I never wear dresses, and when the student referred to what I was wearing, I informed him it was a suit ;-) )

One student also told us a story about how he liked to shop in Prague, and in this one particular shop that was a favourite of his, he went in one day and found the owner, sitting with his leg in an aquarium, and letting the fish nibble at the old flesh on his leg! He assured us it was NOT piranhas!

One student, when talking about being responsible for communicating on trips abroad with her family said, – “I speak German with my hair, French with my eyes, and English with my mouth.”

Another student informed us that, “Journalists shouldn’t tell the truth!” (I’m not totally clear if that was a joke or not!?!)

Teacher: (to student who was talking about food and eating, and who hadn’t eaten anything all morning...) “What will you eat when you finish (maturita)?” “Everything!”

And it isn’t always students! The young male předseda commented in our ‘porada’ that he knew when a student had done well, because I would change my glasses and put my pen down! :-) For future students, this is always a good sign!

Me, in discussion with a student about the legendary Golden Pig of Christmas... “Who cares about the golden pig when there are cookies?!”

But back to more disasters...
Teacher: “What is that on your jacket?” Student: “A budgie.” (Cool...but it was actually a badge)

Student, looking at a picture of a dingo – “This is a Tasmanian devil.” And then looking at a picture of cricket. “It is lacrosse.” Teacher: “No. It is cricket. And do you know what the player has in his hands?” Student: “A striking stick.” (Well, perhaps light sabre might have been funnier!?!)

Student, talking about Canada – “In Canada, we can find grizzly beers.” (Well, you might feel a bit grizzly after a few such beers...)

Student: “The Statue of Liberty (which was also called The statue of Librity by another student) is holding a torch and a tablet.” (And does she have a Wifi connection?)

Student: “Men are cookers.”

Student: “I’m boring…” (This really is NOT a good introduction...though I think the student meant to say that the subject, Literature, was boring for them... ;-) )

Student: “In autumn trees lose their letters.”

Student: “I like junkie food.” (This is an old favourite, comes up every year! Yeah man...look at the colours...)

Student: “I did it two for half times a year.” (Which basically means, I did it twice a year)

Student: “In Madame Tussards are pictures and works of art.” (Sort of...kind of...)

Student: “I have read some books from Jane Austen…” (Really??!! Books BY Jane Austen is one thing...but to get books FROM her...wow, that IS scary!! :-O )

And an example of Vinnetou/Cookie Monster English - “We will go some camping. I will take with us some friends.”

And Hemingway, and his famous Old Man and the Sea does not escape!!
Student: “Fishman catch big whale.” (As clear and concise a definition as I’ve ever heard on the topic!)

Student: “The fish was a skelet…” (Wow! The sharks had eaten SO much of the marlin that there were not even enough letters for the word ‘skeleton’!)

Student: “Nobody trusts that old man do something so big.” (Ok, YOU translate that! :-) )

Comprehension can be a serious problem. I cannot emphasise enough the need to listen carefully to the questions that teachers ask...
Teacher: “Do you like P.E?” Student: “It is important to learn to work with computers….”

Teacher: “Would you like to be a professional sports person?” Student: “A climber.” (Well, let’s dispense with chit-chat, eh?)

We also heard that there was a “Russian Rution”, and that there were ‘Judish’ people, that some students ‘beer und lemonade’ (German English), and they ‘like a-dancing’ (Italian English). Another student, wanting to be sure how many days were in the month, counted her knuckles, which taught me something new! But you know, even teachers make mistakes (and they, like the students, will remain nameless!)

Teacher – “Before they drink, they get drunk...” (Nice trick, if you can do it...)

And the same teacher also pronounced ‘creatures’ as ‘kre-a-tures’…and then the student copied them! And yes, I heard some teachers saying ‘com-for-table’!!!

And in closing, I would like to end with this note. In discussing something that they didn’t like, a student said, “It’s not my cup of coffee.” I challenged it, because this is the 3^rd time recently that I’ve heard such a phrase! Usually, in England, we say, ‘It’s not my cup of tea.’ So, I asked the student if they drank coffee, and they said no. So, I informed them that saying ‘not my cup of coffee’ could be a neat way of dealing with it, if only they drank it...otherwise, it’s a bit of a nonsense...Has anyone else experienced this?

Maturita mistakes and other oddities - 2014 - Part 1

Here we are again, with another collection of mistakes and interesting comments from this year’s Maturita exams. As ever, the authors of the following remarks will remain anonymous – but perhaps you will find yours there? ;-)

A regular occurrence in the exams is the changing of historical and topical information, such as:
“Hemingway wrote The Old Man and the Sea, which I also wrote.”

Teacher: “What are the political parties in Britain?” Student: “Democrats and Republicans.”

“The Queen has one son.” (Really?!!)

“Martin Luther King was involved in the abolition of slavery.”

Teacher: “Who is the current English Prime Minister?” Student: “I know Winston Churchill was…and then it was Tony Blair...”

“Kate Middleton married Prince Charles.” (Wasn’t he a bit old for her??)

(Their Royal Highnesses, engaging, as one does, in some extreme ironing...)

And of course, never a year goes by without the geography of the world being adjusted in some of the talks:
Student: “In London, we can see the Big Eye.” Teacher: “Aren’t you confusing that with Mordor?”

“In England, there is also Springfield…it’s a city of steel.” Of course, they meant Sheffield, but somehow the Simpsons came to mind...

“Franz Kafka lived in the Golden Mile.” Well, I for one never knew that he had lived in Blackpool!

“In Washington, we can find the Statue of Liberty...” (Which clearly likes to go for a walk now and then...)

“The country of England is divided into Shires...” Are there also hobbits there?

“One of the lakes (in the Great Lakes) is the Grand Canyon...”

Teacher: “What is the capital of Australia?” Student: “Sydney.” Teacher: “Are you sure?” Student: “Yes.” Teacher: “Look at the map again.” Student: “It’s Canberra.” Teacher: “Why is Canberra the capital of Australia.” Student: “Because it is named after the animal, the kanberra...?” Teacher: “Do you mean the kangaroo?” Student: “Yes.”

“There are trees in Niagara Falls...”

“The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is located in the south-west of mainland Europe.” (And if THAT were true, I think we’d have much better weather there, and the sea would be a little warmer...)

“In Prague is Jan Hus Square...” (I guess it was a recent promotion?)

“In Prague Old Town Square, there is a 50 hundred years old clock...” (...and it’s been keeping time all these years!)

“A big river in the USA is the Otarino...” (Nope...I have NO idea either what they are referring to!??)

“The USA is divided into two parts. One big here, and one in Alaska. In Alaska is very winter.” (Nice use of Vinnetou English!)

On Australia, Canada, and the British Commonwealth the student began, “I would like to talk about Austria…”

“The native people in Australia are the Moaris...”

“In Olomouc, we can go and see the lighthouse on the holy mountain...” (The New Jerusalem, no doubt!)

“London was founded by the Romanian army.” (And my friends tell me that there are now enough Romanians in England to form a new army!)

And one of our old favourites is William Shakespeare, who gets some great treatment each year...

“Shakespeare had a theatre called the Globe, and he played there some games...” (Wonder if he was good at chess?)

“Shakespeare was born in 1664, I hope…” (Not as much as Mrs Shakespeare hoped! That date was about 100 years after the event...a very long labour!)


Teacher: “Did Shakespeare write any comedies?” Student: “King Lear.”

Part 2 to follow.... ;-)